Friday, June 26, 2009

Photoshop Friday

Writers: A Field Guide

You are wandering through Internet Forest, enjoying the sunshine, the gentle breeze, when you hear the clacking sound of keys on a keyboard. Imagine your thrill. A writer is nearby! This guide is designed to help you identify the various breeds and varieties of this elusive and beautiful animal.

The Hobbiest
I begin with this breed of writer, because it is perhaps the least neurotic of the group and therefore it blends into an average crowd quite easily. This species enjoys occasional writing as a hobby. They may or may not have a blog. You can recognize them by their relaxed nature and the way they casually shrug when publication is mentioned.

The Gung Ho
Many who spend time in the Internet Forest will call this the most recognizable of writer breeds. The Gung Ho pursues publication with the ferocity of a predator. They will stop at nothing to achieve their goal. Note the hunger in it's eye, the frantic tone in it's blog posts/tweets/Facebook status updates, and the calloused fingers--worn from endless pounding against a keyboard.

The Mystic
This breed is another of the more common species. The easiest way to recognize the Mystic by analyzing their words. The Mystic speaks of writing as a "Calling," as if from birth, some were touched by the golden finger of the Muse, charged with telling the stories of mankind. Note the calm acceptance in their eyes, the understanding that it is only a matter of time before their destiny is fulfilled.

The Lucky S.O.Bs

These writers are easily recognizable because they actually make money. The Luckys have achieve prominence in the forest, due to their brilliant stories, their published status and, again, the fact that they actually draw a paycheck. When identifying for this breed, just look for the grins, the easy laughter, the humble acceptance of fanmail, and the joyous displays of their novel covers in the sidebar of their blogs. (*siiiiiigh*)

Come back next week for the second installment of Writers: A Field Guide. (Have a suggestion of a breed? Please let me know in the comments section.)


Miriam S.Forster said...

Hahahahaha... I don't think I'm either of those three. (Neither are you for that matter) So we definitely need more categories.

I'll have to think about that... :-)

Natalie said...

Hehe, that's awesome. I think I've been all of those at one point...except for the last one.

I'd like to suggest The Cynic, who has been in the forest so dang long they hate it...and yet they refuse to leave.

Also The Narcissist, who thinks they write better than everyone and will be the next bestseller.

Renee Collins said...

Miriam-Yes, I was going for exaggeration. I don't really know many who fit these perfectly. We're all much more grounded.:)

Natalie-Ooo, good ones! I'll definitely have to include those!

Lady Glamis said...

Renee, you are so funny. I don't know what breed I am, but it's not gung-ho, that's for sure. I like Natalie's suggestions! I'm too burned out right now to suggest anything clever.

sraasch said...

Haha, awesome!

giddymomof6 said...

LOLOL! Have a mentioned yet how awesome talented you are in your Photoshop Fridays???? LOL! You rock! And erm, I have to LOL! Because I so think I'm the Mystic--however annoyed I might be at the prospect. The others... not so much... LOL! Jeni

Diana said...

Lol! you are good Ren.
So what about "The Wannabe", the writer who hungrily reads other writer blogs, has 1000 unwritten story ideas that "were gonna be great", who may or may not have had a poorly written blog at one time....*cough cough*, and who never gives up on the dream that one day she may actually write....... excuse me...*sobs*

Renee Collins said...

Jenni-Thanks! I think it's the one thing my blog has going for it. :)

Diana-Good one! I'm including it.