Friday, March 25, 2011

Photoshop Friday

As summer and summer blockbusters approach, so begins the season of intense movie merchandising. You can't get away from it. I once saw a Pirates of the Caribbean sack of potatoes in the produce section.

So we were wondering, wouldn't it be totally sweet if they merchandised books like they do the movies? Can someone get on that please? We present a few suggestions in our post:

Novel(T) Items

Our first product is here to improve the mornings of women everywhere. Just imagine. Instead of waking up the harsh screech of your alarm clock, the smooth, creamy voice of Rhett Butler coaxes you from your dreams.
Personalize real phrases from the novel with your own name instead of Scarlett O'Hara's!

Ever get the munchies? Ever find yourself making the slow march of shame to the refrigerator for a snack, and therefore smashing your final hope to restart that diet you've been neglecting? Sure, ladies. We all have. But now, with our Big Brother refrigerator, you'll have a searing pair of eyes needling into you at all times. Don't even think about grabbing that leftover slice of cake! Because Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING.
You're guaranteed to lose five pounds within the first two weeks!

We all want the best for our children. We want them to be loving, smart, and cultured individuals. Well now, you can get a head start on that! With our new Moby Dick Mobile, your little tyke can gaze up at icons from one of our cherished works of literature. Imagine his or her delight as they watch the murderous white whale and insane, revenge-driven Ahab dangle over them at night. It's sure to be flying off the shelves, so act now!
Comes in Sea Green™ and Blood-of-the-Drown Blue™!

What about you? Are there any products you're dying to own?


Chantele Sedgwick said...

Ba ha ha ha!!! That mobile is so awesome!!! :D I'm really tired so I totally can't think right now... Let me sleep on it and maybe I can come up with something cool! ;)

Read my books; lose ten pounds! said...

id like that fridge.

I would like something that zaps the husband whenever he even thinks of saying ANYTING that I wouldnt like..

Jeigh said...

I'm pretty sure if you looked hard enough, you could find an Edward Cullen alarm clock just like that.

So...did you buy the Pirates sack of potatoes?

Josin L. McQuein said...

Why does Big Brother look like J. Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man? :/

(And no way could those itty bitty harpoons pass regulations for infant toys!)

You laugh at the Pirate Potatoes, but when Twilight came out as a movie, WalMart looked like Cullen home-central. The actors/characters faces were on everything from soda cans to potato chip bags. (Which is weird, considering none of them actually eat.)

I'm trying to picture The Hunger Games breakfast cereal -- "So good, your kids will kill each other just to get the last bite!"

Miriam S. Forster said...

That mobile idea is brilliant. And you could use it with so many classics. Like THE GRAPES OF WRATH! Hahahaha.

R.S.J. said...

I would totally buy this. Book on toilet paper. Filled with your favorite lines from your favorite books. Also it would be awesome to have the villian series. Your favorite villian's face on every square, getting their fair punishment. Can you tell I have sons?

Renee Collins said...

Chantele-Isn't it awesome? I can actually see my son loving it as a baby. :)

Read-Yeah, that would be a nice perk, wouldn't it? You could set it on zap mode, pick a specific target. Hmmm . . . ;)

Jeigh-There is! We saw it as we were researching pictures for the post! lol

Also, no I didn't buy them. Because in spite of the dollar more in price, they were still plain old potatoes. :)

Josin-So true! Always when the summer blockbusters come out, the stores are overrun with movie merchandising. Shrek soda pop, Iron Man corn flakes, Spiderman Cheezits. It kind of drives me crazy.

Also, I love the idea of Hunger Games cereal! They could even put little dark berries in it. For the laugh. ;)

Miriam-Hey, I would actually buy a Grapes of Wrath mobile! I love that book!

R.S.J-Another brilliant idea! I think a novel on toilet paper is genius! You read as you finish your business, and then it nicely flushes down the toilet. Love it!

Also, I think kids would really get into the villain toilet paper. :)

Kasie West said...

LOL Yes, I elect you to get on this, stat. That way, by the time my book comes out (10 years from now) this will already be a "thing". :)

Indigo said...

If it were Poe merchandise I would jump all over it. I'm surprised there isn't more book related items out there. I'm pretty sure the ratio is higher for readers than movie goers. (Hugs) Indigo

Renee Collins said...

Kasie-I will proudly merchandise your book. :D

Indigo-It's true! Surely we book readers would bring in a decent revenue if we had the cool stuff to buy.


Good blog!