So we were wondering, wouldn't it be totally sweet if they merchandised books like they do the movies? Can someone get on that please? We present a few suggestions in our post:
Our first product is here to improve the mornings of women everywhere. Just imagine. Instead of waking up the harsh screech of your alarm clock, the smooth, creamy voice of Rhett Butler coaxes you from your dreams.
Ever get the munchies? Ever find yourself making the slow march of shame to the refrigerator for a snack, and therefore smashing your final hope to restart that diet you've been neglecting? Sure, ladies. We all have. But now, with our Big Brother refrigerator, you'll have a searing pair of eyes needling into you at all times. Don't even think about grabbing that leftover slice of cake! Because Big Brother is ALWAYS WATCHING.
We all want the best for our children. We want them to be loving, smart, and cultured individuals. Well now, you can get a head start on that! With our new Moby Dick Mobile, your little tyke can gaze up at icons from one of our cherished works of literature. Imagine his or her delight as they watch the murderous white whale and insane, revenge-driven Ahab dangle over them at night. It's sure to be flying off the shelves, so act now!