Friday, February 18, 2011

Meet Vanessa

I think it is time I introduce you to someone...

She is the little voice in my head.

Her name is Vanessa. I named her that because growing up when Renee and I played Barbies the evil Barbie's name was usually Vanessa. (no offense to any Vanessas out there)
She came into my mind a long time ago and is still hanging around. Every time I write she shows up to share her two cents. She has been, at times, very cruel, but her most effective tool is distraction. Here is how our conversations typically go:

Me: OK...Time to write that love scene between Robert and Ariana...

Vanessa: *stifles a laugh*

Me: What?

Vanessa: Nothing..its just...a love scene? Do you really think someone at your writing level should attempt to write a love scene?

Me: How else would I show the romantic feelings developing between the two characters?

Vanessa: Suit yourself...

Me: ok......*stares at the blank screen*

Vanessa: Ooo! Did you hear the trailer came out for the new X-Men movie? Lets go check it out!

Me: Really?! -wait, I can't do that. I have to work-get lost! Now...where to begin?

Vanessa: Actually I think its been about fifteen minutes since you checked Facebook. Better head over there and see if any one has responded to your new profile pic.

Me: Arrrgh! Leave me alone! OK ...*flexes fingers* I just need to describe Robert...

Vanessa: Maybe we should Google every picture of Colin Farrel we can find and-

Me: VANESSA!!!


And so it goes with Vanessa. Do you have a voice inside your head? Any ideas on how to get rid of her? (humanely, of course)

12 comments:

Amanda the Aspiring said...

Unplug the internet. Haha, takes all those distractions out right away. :)

Renee Collins said...

I know Vanessa well. She and I go way back.

Her evil clone Judy lives in my head. Man, I hate her. . . .

Miriam S. Forster said...

Don't worry about being humane. This is WAR!

That being said...

My doubter voice and my distractor voice are two different people and I deal with them different ways.

My distractor voice is best defeated by logic. "I'm going to have to get this done anyway, so why not do it now" usually works. Or you can try bribes.

My doubter voice is harsher. It wants attention, so I meet it with indifference. (also known as the 'so what' defense.)

"You can't do this, you'll embarrass yourself."

To which I respond "So what? Wouldn't be the first time."

"You suck. Your writing causes cancer and you'll never have any success."

"So what? I'll get better. And I can't control my success anyway. All I can do is do the work."

"But...but..you're talentless! And..ugly. And fat!"

"Now you're just being mean." *shotguns doubt in the face*


Anyway, that's how it goes in my head. It also helps to have one person who can read your stuff, not to critique it, but to tell you it's awesome. My mom does that. :)

Good luck!

storyqueen said...

Haha! Oooooh! That Vanessa! (And I am cracking up that Renee's little voice is named Judy.)

I think mine is like Ralph or something. (He may or may not have ADHD).

Bethany Mason said...

If there was a pill for getting rid of your distractor I would be first in line to buy. I can't seem to get anything written as there is always something else I find to do. Am just thankful I don't have a doubter in there as well (or at least one that hasn't surfaced yet).

R.S.J. said...

Yes, I have a similar voice in my head. And she has a lot of friends and they have parties and it gets very loud sometimes.

Diana said...

Amanda- that is a simple and brilliant solution...but Vanessa would throw a fit if I unplugged the internet...so I can't, you see?...*cough cough*

Renee- Judy is a sweet old gal, don't be too hard on her Ren...:)

Miriam- Lol! You are right...a swift shot to the head may be the best way to get rid of her.

Storyqueen- Ralph! Of course, Vanessa has told me about him- she says he kinda twitches when he talks...

Bethany- Great idea! A pill to kill your distracter! You could be rich!!

Ruth- When voices in my head get together it is not pretty. All that singing and yelling and movie quotes...

Jenn Johansson said...

Yes, but I've never named her. Maybe I should. Maybe I'll name her Decklyn. ("Just Go With It" joke, if you've never seen it you won't get it.)

Great post!

Kasie West said...

A new trailer came out for X-Men?? Sorry, Vanessa was distracting me as well. I think we're an easily distractible bunch. :)

Diana said...

Jenn- I haven’t seen that movie, but Vanessa said it was pretty funny…;)

Kaise- If she bugs you again, you call me, I'll personally deal with her...(ps the X-men trailer has some sweet James Mcavoy footage)

Melissa said...

The voices in my head are actually my characters so I'd hate to get rid of them!

Also, Vanessa IS a name for an evil person.....

Jen Daiker said...

Your blog is super fun! I love it! I found you after someone labeled you over at Perfecting the Craft as one of the top bloggers they love to visit! Of course I had to stop in!!!

Vanessa is evil. Everyone has one.

PS - Vanessa was one of those names I feel is pure evil.