Friday, November 20, 2009

Photoshop Friday

I'm cheating this week and reusing an old Photoshop Friday. That said, I'm doing it for a good reason. Today I bring up my castle analogy to announce that, as of this week, I have officially approached The Wall. Don't understand what I mean? Well, just read on and you will :


Imagine a large castle with vast grounds, surrounded by a large stone wall. Here, let me give you a visual:
That shining castle of beauty and joy and laughter and magnificence is called is called PUBLICATION CASTLE. Ah yes, we all know it well. To enter those hallowed walls is to know success. But how does one get there?

As you can see from the picture, in order to even approach Publication Castle, one must first pass through THE WALL. (Imagine Gustov Holt's Mars playing right now. Open a tab and listen to it on YouTube if you aren't familiar with the tune. It really works so perfectly in this section.)

What is that wall, you ask? Oh, but don't we all know? When I mentioned that wall, didn't a part of you deep inside weep in horror? Yes. THE WALL. Otherwise known as Querying.

When I think of querying, I see people, thousands and thousands of people, throwing themselves against the outer wall, clamoring, stampeding over each other, desperate for that narrow chance to get inside.
Look at them. Can't you hear the sounds of their desperation? (P.S. If you think I sound condescending, just remember that this is where I am right now.)All they can do is gaze up at the top of the wall and hope that someone will throw down a rope. And who is that someone?*No offense intended to all you glorious agents out there. I really do love you. More than you know. (Call me.)

But, say one of those guards does throw you a rope and pull you out of the teeming masses outside the wall, the battle still isn't over. Publication Castle is still a shining, glorious structure in the distance. And you are still on the outside looking in. But, you are closer than ever. A glance around the COURTYARD OF THE AGENTED reveals nervous smiles, impatient fidgeting, and semi-smug mingling. Everyone is happy to be inside, but no one wants to stay there forever. All eyes are on the Castle.

And then one day, it happens. A servant from in the inner court strolls out and magnanimously points to you. You've been chosen. You will enter PUBLICATION CASTLE. Oh the joy! The rapture! You have no idea what sumptuous delights await you within those glittering walls, but you are more than ready to find out. After everything you've been through to get here, anything sounds good. And hey, who knows, you may just end up at the cool kid's table.


Natalie said...

I'm seriously busting up. I think the photoshopped heads in the last picture put me over the edge. You have skills Renee. :)

Natalie Whipple said...

You could re-post this every week and I wouldn't get tired of it. Sigh. You might want to add that there are guillotines in the Courtyard of the Agented, just in case you can't take the waiting anymore and want to put yourself out of your misery.

Yeah, I didn't know that either until I got here. It's supposed to be a secret, shhh.

Mary said...

Loved this - I want to be at the cool kids table too. Unfortunately I haven't even made it to the wall yet. Good luck with your querying.

Candice said...

Yeah for the wall! I know you are a skilled climber. I'm so excited for you to be querying again.

Renee Collins said...

Natalie-Thanks! And yes, that last picture is one of my personal favorites. :)

Natalie W-lol, it's true, I could tweak the Courtyard some, make it a bit more agonizing.

Mary-So you would be in the Forest around the Castle, a place where writers are busily perfecting their stories? :)

Candice-Thanks! I've got all of my best rappelling gear. Let's hope it pays off.

Tara McClendon said...

Funny analogy. Can we knock out bricks and just crawl through? Good luck breaching the wall.

Jessie Oliveros said...

Very appropriate. I hope you make it over. I'm still stuck in the Moat of Rewriting. Maybe you can throw me a rope.

Kasie West said...

Wahoo! I'm so excited you're querying again. It's going to happen. I just know it. And this is one of my favorite photoshop fridays, btw. :)