On nearing the end

As I said in my first post, the novel that I am currently working on will be the first that I have ever completed. It is a thrill to me. To tell you the honest truth, up until I hit page 250 I had real doubts as to whether I was capable of finishing a whole novel. And while I suppose I am not actually finished yet, there is no doubt of it. I will complete this novel, hopefully by the birthday which is coming up in about a month.

At any rate, I thought I'd share a bit about how I finally made it past the 40 page barrier. I would attribute it to one very important thing. As a way of introduction, let me say that I do not consider myself to have wild dreams of fame. I write, by far majority for the love of the art. For the joy I feel in creating the images that fly around in my imagination. That said, what aspiring writer doesn't want to be published? To be well received? Even, dare I say it, famous? I have discovered, however to save those dreams of book signings and movie deals to fanciful visions as I drift off to sleep or bask in a hot shower.

I am (though it may not seem like it) quite realistic when it come to this matter. However, a desire to write a book that could be well received plagued my mind and affected my writing in a negative way. At every turn I found myself changing my stories to make them more marketable. It effected every decision I made about my stories. For the first novel I attempted, I changed the setting three times. Each time having to go back and rewrite the whole thing. I would eventually grow to despise my stories, and then give them up all together.

For my current book, I knew I needed a change. So this time, I stood my ground. I banished all thoughts about trying to make my story have mass appeal or commercial elements, and I wrote the story that I wanted to write. It was difficult at times, but I put faith in myself and went forward.

And now, the results are clear. I absolutely love my novel. I love writing it. I think about my characters during the day, as if they were real people and I can't wait to run down to the little office in my basement and start writing. I think it has made all the difference, and I don't plan to ever go back. I am going to write only the stories that I truly love and want to write. How could I have seen it any other way?