Saturday, January 28, 2012

Writing, Love, and other Scary Things

I know, right? I'm blogging. What's up with that?

Truth is, as should be obvious by now, ye old blog has taken a far back seat to other social networks in my world. You can find all the Renee you need on Twitter. I promise, I'm WAY more active there. Also, I'm on Facebook. But that said, this blog isn't going away. It may get a makeover in the coming weeks, but I'll still keep her around for the occasional post of exciting updates, (hopefully I have some of those,) or random thoughts on my mind, (like the blog post you are about to read.)

So, without further ado, I give you random thoughts . . . *clears throat*

Writing and dating. Oh, the many ways they are similar. (If I were a more diligent and dedicated blogger, I would have links to my favorite posts from other writers on the subject, but alas.)

I've done a lot of thinking lately about one particular way the metaphor of writing=dating is applicable to me. To start, let me give you a picture of what I was like when I was younger and single. To quote the cliche: I wore my heart on my sleeve. And I gave that heart away freely. (Definitely too freely, but that's a whole different post . . .) I've always been open with my feelings and opinions, and dating was no different. Once I met a guy I connected with, I plunged in without hesitation. I fell in love many times, and I guess I'm not ashamed of that. Being open to love is a good thing, right?

With writing, strangely, it's been completely the opposite. For whatever reason, all that open, dive-into-your-feeling mindset went out the window. I was one of those girls in the RomComs who's "afraid to love." I built up a wall around my heart, REFUSING to let any book in. I told myself I was being "realistic and business-like" about it all. I wasn't getting swept away. I was strong, calm, and rational.

Until now.

Guys, I'm scared. I'm scared because I've let a book in. Well, technically, I let it in last summer, but this feeling isn't going away. I'm so very much in love with this book. As I prepare myself to go on sub again, I'm trying to steel up my heart and emotionally detach like I always do, but I can't do it. I also can't ward off the lovely dreams that drift into my mind and heart when I'm not paying attention.

At first, it was TERRIFYING. It still is some moments.

But you know? I think it's time. After the YEARS I've put into writing, it's time I really fought for my dreams. It's time I believed in myself. It's time to let myself fall in love. So here I go. Standing on the edge of the cliff. Eyes closed, heart full, diving in head first.

And I don't regret a thing.


Michelle D. Argyle said...

This makes me smile. :) And as we talked about, detachment isn't always the best thing ever. I can't wait to read your new book! I can't wait to see what happens with it on sub. Whatever happens, you've accomplished great things.

Kasie West said...

Good! It's about time!! And this book deserves all your love. Don't hold back, Ren. Let it in. :) That was a fun metaphor.....Analogy?? Whatever it was....what, I'm a writer.

Jen said...

I think if it's a special enough for you to love it, it's worth everything!

Unknown said...

I like this! And I like that you blogged! Yippie!

But am I the only on who sees the date this post was made is January 28, 2012?

Sara B. Larson said...

I'm so excited for you!! Reach for the moon--at the very least you'll land amongst the stars. :)

Chantele Sedgwick said...

You are awesome Renee. And your book is awesome. Keep me updated!! And if you need to vent or cry or anything, I'm just a phone call away! :)

Small Town Shelly Brown said...

I don't know how it is I read all of your posts a month late. Sorry about that. But I couldn't not comment. This is great! Not only are you wearing your heart on your sleeve, you're telling all of us about it. Very brave. All my best karma I'm sending your way.
It was good to see you at LTUE, too :)

Unknown said...

You get those hopes up and keep 'em way, way up.

I hate when people tell me not to get my hopes up. Worse is when I tell MYSELF not to get my hopes up.

What are we in this business for except for hope-getting-up?

(P.S. You may be getting something to read from me very, very soon...)

Renee Collins said...

Michelle-Aww, thanks. :) And I would be happy to send my book whenever you'd like.

Kasie-lol, poignant words indeed, Kasie.

Jen-I'm seeing that now. It was a lesson that took me years to learn.

Patrick-lol, weird! Actually, now that I think about it, I started this post a while ago, but just never finished and published it. I wonder if it just retained the date I opened the file. Funny. :)

Sara-Love that phrase! I also like this one: "Next year!" ;)

Chantele-Thank you. You are an awesome friend. :)

Shelly-No, this time you were extremely prompt! I started this post a long time ago, but didn't finish, and somehow it retained the old date. But yes, I feel brave and a little crazy. (Aren't those essentially the same thing? ;) )

Kristen-True words, Kristen. True words. I love that.

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Candice said...

I can totally picture teenage/college Renee. I have to admit we are twins on this issue too. Though I'm still getting to the letting my heart be open to my current novel.

I think your book is totally worthy of all your love!! It is the prince charming, shining knight or, if you prefer, analytical doctor of books.

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J.R. Johansson said...

I was convinced that I posted on this already...but it was under the influence of painkillers, so maybe it's best that I didn't.

Anyway, YAY! I'm in love with your book, too. :) I'm glad you're diving in. If you can't commit yourself to it, why should anyone else?

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Unknown said...

hy Renee, I think you're admirable. You words are just so majestic...readying your blog makes me see myself in a different way, and I think I'm totally your opposite, beacuse I always wanted to fell in love and have a happy relationship, so I let is many persons in my life who after dissapointed me...though I'm young.. anyway I'm glad I found your blog. wishing you the best. Bye:)

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