Monday, April 18, 2011

Believe

I remember being new to writing.

I remember the excitement of delving into that first book. The new and interesting struggles of trying to learn my craft. The untainted, maybe even ridiculous optimism and joy that came with dreams of publication.

I miss those days. To anyone still in that time, cherish it. Cherish being at the start of the path, looking up at all you still have to do. Trust me when I say that being on the path isn't always as amazing as it seems.

This post makes me sound a little jaded, and I guess I am. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be where I am. And I'm grateful. But I do miss the days when the publishing world existed mostly in my very beautiful dreams.

Once you see it for real, you can't go back.

One of my best friends in the world is hurting right now. And part of me wishes we could both return to those giddy early days. But the other part knows that we haven't come this far for nothing.

I still believe.

So maybe I'm not as far from that new, bright-eyed writer as I thought I was. Maybe it's because hope is something we should never let go of, no matter how much we see. No matter what happens to us.

And in those times when hope seems too hard, we have our friends there to hold us up. So to that friend, to all of my friends who are struggling on this path, I say:

I still believe.

16 comments:

Aurora Smith said...

CHERRISHING!

Candice said...

Perfect! I was just thinking the other day how much I used to love sitting and my computer and writing without thinking about all the things I think about now. It was pure expression. Now it's expression morphed with strategy and work. It's not a bad thing, but so different.

But no matter how far along you are in the publishing process, disappointments can hurt so badly. Some can even be a bit understandably)soul crushing at the time they happen. Thank goodness for those who can help us through.

Sarah said...

Watching someone you care about suffer those disappointments is often as bad as getting hurt yourself. In general, I've coped with just trying to stay brutally real about my chances. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, or that it isn't hard to believe on some days. That's what makes friends who understand so priceless!

Kasie West said...

How come I feel like saying "amen" to all of your posts lately? lol I'm so glad we all have each other because without my friends, I don't think I would have ever made it through my lows (and I'm sure there are more to come). I hate seeing my friends have to go through lows as well. Sigh.

J.R. Johansson said...

I'm feeling the same way today. Seeing your friends struggle is painful. But I'm with you, Renee. I still believe, too.

And I'm grateful for all of our friends.

Miriam Forster said...

Absolutely.

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

A writing career is not for the faint of heart. There's good days and bad days, but hang in there. A writer is always learning, even with rejections. I know, I have a drawer full of rejections. But I still believed and finally my dream came true. If it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone who continues to believe. :)

University Exam Result said...

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Shari said...

LOVE this.

Michelle D. Argyle said...

I agree that seeing our friends suffer can hurt just as much for us. Thank you for this post. It's so important to be there for each other!

Chantele Sedgwick said...

Thanks so much for this post Renee. I'm so sorry for your friend. I'm so glad she has a friend like you to help her back up when she feels like she's been knocked down. Friends are priceless. I hope things work out for her!
I still believe as well. Even on those downer days. I'll always still believe. :)

j. littlejohn said...

great post

Marlee said...

I love your style of writing! Feels like I'm listening to a jaded poet ;). It's five in the morning and I'm stressed about life as well. Know your blog is a comfort to some.

www.marleeindebt.blogspot.com

Renee Collins said...

Sorry it took me so long to respond to all these comments!!

Read-I'm glad!! You definitely should. :)

Candice-So true. Part of me hates that I outline now. I miss those days of just jumping into a story and going where ever my imagination takes me.

Sarah-Yes, staying realistic can help, I think. Crushed expectations are part of what makes this road so hard.

Kasie-So true. I know friends are the only thing that have brought me out of the pits.

Jenn-It's hard to see friends struggle, but at the same time, it's fun to see them triumph. If ya know what I mean. :)

Kathi-So true. Believing is really the only way. As hard as it is sometimes, we just have to keep going.

University and Shari-Thanks! :)

Michelle-True!

Chantele-Hope really does spring eternal, doesn't it? I'm glad for it. The world could be pretty bleak without that.

Littlejohn-Thanks :)

Marlee-Thank you so much! I am really glad to know I helped someone. :)

Jack Tyler said...

So true! I've been writing off and on for 14 years, and am currently working on my sixth novel. I have come to realize that no one will ever read them but my grandkids, but I've also come to accept that that's good enough. Those early days were great, though, when I really believed that Steven King was in imminent danger of losing his crown to the new master. An irreplaceable time that can never be recaptured...

TRAVELS said...

Fantastic blog!!!