Are you a Beta Waita?

So, I recently finished the rough draft of my WiP. (YAYYYYYYY!) I spent a few days on that delicious, unmatched high that comes with completing a novel. The joy! The relief! The sense of accomplishment! The promise of possibility!

Ah, if only it lasted. Alas, that rush doesn't hold on long. Why, you may ask? Because after a short edit, I sent my baby off to beta readers.

Don't get me wrong, my beta readers are FABULOUS. I love each and every one of them. But still, I find myself struggling as I become the dreaded Beta Waita. (Or Beta Waiter, as in one who is waiting on betas. I know, I know, my cheesy slang is confusing.)

It's kind of terrifying. I mean, they're actually reading my book!! And they're gonna think things about it! And they're gonna read that one scene that isn't so tight! And they might think it's LAME! Or they might say they like it, but SECRETLY think it's lame!

Is your book with beta readers right now? If so, here's a helpful list of things you can do to pass the time!

1. Rock back and forth, alone with your thoughts.


2. Consume calories.


3. Crying always helps.


I'm so helpful, right?? No need to thank me. Giving back is just my nature.

A Jenn Party!

****UPDATE*****

Jenn's book just sold in ITALY as well!!! Molto bene! If I were in Utah, I would take her to Olive Garden to celebrate. Hmmm . . . maybe I will just go to Olive Garden here, and think of Jenn. Yes, that's a good plan. :)

***************

Guys, by now you should know that I am a Slacker Blogger in the extreme. But today, I am going to out do myself in slackerly ways.

So, I have this fantabulous friend named Jenn (or J.R Johannson as she's known online,) and she wrote this AMAZING and SCARY book called INSOMNIA. I got to read it before it was unleashed onto the hungry publishing world, and man, did I SO call it that she was going to sell.

Well, sure enough: SHE DID!!! AT AUCTION!!

Here's the problem. This happened a couple weeks ago, and I've been totally planning to write a YAY JENN post on my blog. But as I pointed out at the start of this post, I am clearly a slacker.

So, here's my post, but I'm not just going to be a slacker by putting it up late. Oh no. I can go much worse. I'm going to surpass own slackerishness by actually just sending you to my friend Candice's blog. She wrote a hilarious YAY JENN post, and I thought, "You know, that's much better than I can do, so why try?"

Therefore, GO HERE! And celebrate Jenn's triumph (and Candice's sense of humor.)

YAY for slacking! And YAY FOR JENN!!!

Recharged

As you may have noticed (and may or may not have cared,) I've been absent for a while from ye old blog. I can't account for most of those days, but this last weekend, I've been AWOL. With these gals. We were all hanging out at a writer's retreat in the desert. These ladies pretty much rock. The desert rocks as well. (Who knew, right?)

Here we are.From left to right: Michelle, me, Candice, Jenn, Kasie, Sara, and Natalie.


Though this picture is more accurate, I think.

Anyway, now I'm all recharged and brimming with writerly thoughts. Thanks to them, I have ideas for more blog posts, which will come soon. Until then, the only possible useful purpose I can give for this post (other than trying to prevent this from turning into a once-a-month type of blog,) is to say that having writer friends has been the NUMBER ONE smartest thing I've done for my writing career. No question. If you don't have friends who are writers in your genre, get some! Be brave. Be friendly. Be outgoing online. You'll be glad that you did.

A Natalie Party!

As you may be able to tell by now, I love throwing virtual parties on my blog. They're the best. There's no clean up, the refreshments are free, and you don't have to worry about awkward conversations with that weird guy who corners you by the punch bowl!

Well today, I'm throwing a very special party here on Midnight Meditations. A party for my fabulous friend Natalie Whipple! Because today, she is announcing her new TWO BOOK DEAL with HARPERTEEN!!!

*passes out Dr Peppers* *throws confetti* *blasts dance jams over the speakers*


Here is the picture I told her she HAD to take. I mean, come on! Everybody loves the "Signing my book contract" pic!

I imagine Natalie needs no introduction. She has an amazingly popular blog. In fact, you most likely already know her. You probably came over to my measly blog because you follow her blog. :) At any rate, Natalie is amazing. She's one of my earliest friends and critique partners. We've seen each other through high high's and low low's. She's talked me off the edge of the "I'm gonna give up on this stupid book" cliff many times. And I love her for that. Also, she's smart, a fabulous dresser, and a fantastic writer. NATALIE RULZ.

So party hard here and my blog, and then head over to crash the party at her blog! But today, there will be partying. Oh yes, there will be partying.

No More Fear

When I first started writing seriously, I allowed myself big dreams. Dreams that glowed inside me as I drifted off to sleep at night. Dreams that tingled over my skin as I brushed the spines of books in the YA section. They made my heart beat fast when I read of other people's success online. These were the thoughts that made me get into this whole business in the start. The reason I write, if you will.

Unfortunately, with time (and rejections,) those dreams started to no longer feel safe. Little by little, almost without realizing what I was doing, I built up a wall around them, closing them off inside me. I'd tell myself it was good. It meant I'd grown. I was smarter now. More realistic. In stronger moments, I'd sneer at my earlier self for being so "clueless." In weaker moments, I'd mourn the loss of those dreams.

I've thought a lot about it in the past few weeks, and I've realized a very important thing. I haven't outgrown those dreams, or become to wise to have them. I've just been afraid of them. Plain and simple. I've been afraid to even look at or acknowledge them anymore.

So today, I'm going to force myself to break through that wall. I'm not only going to accept that my dreams are still there, I'm going to share them with you. Believe me, I'm terrified. I've edited and deleted and rewritten this entire post. I've waffled over whether or not to even do it, because I'm honestly really scared to share these things. I'm afraid of looking stupid or vain or naive. I'm afraid of people reading this post a year from now and thinking, "haha, I guess her dreams didn't come true."

But I need a breakthrough, guys. I need to do this. I'm not going to run away from my dreams anymore. They are still inside me, and they deserve to be acknowledged. So here goes.

1. I dream of holding my own book in my hands. Printed books are special to me, always have been. To me, they are beautiful, powerful things, both figuratively and literally. I dream of the day when I can feel my story beneath my fingertips, smell the new pages, and gaze at the cover.

2. I want to write an epic love story, one that makes people FEEL something when they read it. Longing or sadness or joy. I want to create characters that seem alive. I want to give those characters scenes that are beautiful.

And last, the hardest one to actually write out. (Trust me, I've deleted it about ten times.)

3. I dream of readers. I dream of a fan base. People that love my books and think about my books, and can't wait for the next one. To know that someone out there who doesn't know me personally is moved by my stories would be the most amazing feeling in the world.


What are your dreams? What is the reason you keep going? If you are like me, if you feel afraid of those dreams that once burned inside you, please, PLEASE share them now. I'd love to hear them.

Blogs. (Blogs!) What are they good for?

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that writer trying to get published must be in want of a blog." -Jane Austen (Seriously. It's from one of her lesser-known works . . .)

Ah, blogs. We all have them. We all struggle from time to time with how to fill them. We love them. We hate them. We feel like we have to keep them up, (it's called a platform, people!) but some days we kind of want to set a match to the thing. Indeed, blog angst is one of the time-honored rites of passage for a writer.

Eventually, however, one of two things happens: the blog either dies a slow death, or the writer finds her groove.

I've noticed a few common types in blogs, (though most have aspects of all.) Which one are you?

1. The Advice Blog-These are usually pretty popular, because who doesn't want/need advice?

2. The Entertainer-Sometimes witty, sometimes silly. Occasionally, adorned with cute animal photos.

3. The Forum-This blog brings up interesting or hot topics of the writing world in the hopes of stirring up some stimulating debate in the comment's section.

4. The Random Pontificator/Online Journal-Random would be the operative word here.

And even the dreaded:
5. Blag (or Brog)-Where the author makes sure to keep us up to date on his or her latest, gleaming triumph. And . . . that's pretty much the only reason they ever post.

As for me, I've noticed my blog has fallen snugly into the category of Random Online Journal. I hardly ever try to think of post topics, I just blog when I have thoughts or news or the rare rant. Whatever's on my mind. I rarely feel that intense pressure to post anymore. (The fact that my last post was almost three weeks ago is strong evidence of this.) The truth is, I've come to realize that if I'm scraping to think of a post, it probably won't be that good. And if that means I only post once a week, I'm thinking that's just fine.

What about you? What's your bloggy groove?

Tapping into Fears

I grew up in Hawaii. It really is paradise, guys. White, sandy beaches, swaying palms, et cetera. BUT it also has more than its share of "creepy crawlies." Roaches, spiders, geckos, and my nemisis: the centipede. YES, they really are that big! And YES, they bite! And YES, they are PERVASIVE. Imagine those suckers crawling around in your house. Actually, don't imagine it, because it's just too disgusting/creepy.

Personal story time: I was ten years old. Sleeping peacefully in my bed. I felt a weird pain on my foot, and began to dream that someone was pounding a nail into my toes. But that didn't wake me up. What woke me was the prickly, tickly feeling of sharp, little legs creeping up my arm.

I shot up in bed, swiping the feeling away. Weird, I thought. That felt like a bug crawling on me. Then I thought: Huh, why does my foot hurt so bad?

As the waves of sleep receded, I put two and two together.

As you can imagine, this event rather traumatized me. I still am. Even though it's been over a decade since I left Hawaii, I still shake my blankets out every night before going to sleep. Just to make sure a centipede isn't curled up somewhere in there.

So, how am I going to relate this to writing? Well, guess what kind of creatures show up in Searcher? Yep, centipedes. (BIG centipedes.) I'm not saying those are my best scenes in the book or anything, but they certainly were fun to write. It's one of the joys of what we do. We take these poor characters and force them to face our fears for us. They may defeat them (Jetta cuts a centipede's head off) or fall to them, it doesn't matter. You can always tell when those obstacles come right from the author's past.

How about you? Which of your fears have showed up in your stories?