Just face it

As many of you know, I put a lot of work into my novel Searcher. Fifteen months, to be exact. Fifteen months of hard, hard work. I gotta say, it left me pretty burned out.

So during my writing break/philosophical journey, I made some big plans. I told myself that when I started my next book I was going to do things differently. No more lashing myself with the work whip. No more hair shirt. I was just going to grab the kernel of an idea (any idea will do,) jump on the free writing roller coaster, and enjoy the ride. I was going to pound out a book in a month just like everyone else (*cough*kiersten*cough*natalie*cough*) seems to and that was that.

Well, I tried.

And failed.

And I've had to face a truth. You are what you are. As much as I really, really (really, really) wanted to, I just can't write that way. I am, like it or not, a planner. A note taker. An outliner (*shudder*) I have to know where I'm going when I sit down to the computer. When I try to do it any other way, I either end up staring at a blank screen or writing a few pages that I will absolutely hate the minute I'm done.

So there is it. Face it. I'm in for another fifteen months of work. And I guess that's the way it should be. We have to accept who we are as a writers, and who we aren't.

But don't worry, this time, I really will leave my whip and hair shirt in the closet.

A Promise, Broken . . .

Here's the thing, gang. I had every intention to give you a Photoshop Friday today. I truly did. But then my old Dell finally snapped. He's currently living it up in Computer Rehab.

Now, I have Beloved (my Mac,) but I am ashamed to admit that I have yet to figure out how to get the Photoshop working. Lame, I know. My apologies.

I won't leave you empty-handed, though. Here's a Youtube video for all you folks out there in queryland. Just play it over and over again as you send out those query letters. I do. I'm convinced it will brainwash me into success.

Back with an answer, an announcement, and a promise

Well, it was a loooooooong blog break, folks, but I'm finally back. I must admit that I enjoyed drifting away for a while. However, I am ready to jump back into the old blogging world. So, without further ado, I give you today an answer, an announcement, and a promise.

An Answer
You may be wondering how I fared on my Great Philosophical Journey of '09. Well, the answer is that I'm still on it to some extent, but I see no reason not to share a little of what I pondered.

In a nutshell, I took the end of the year as a time to analyze exactly where I was as a writer. What I've learned. What I still need to learn. What I really want from this all.

It's been very good to stop and examine these things. I think sometimes the writing world can feel like one big, crazy race. It's so nice, vital even, to step back for a while and take stock of it all. I'd highly recommend it.

An Announcement
The holidays were not without some excitement for me in the writing side of things. Remember my novelette "Confessions of the Watcher?" You know, the really dark dystopian story about a depressed, obsessive-compulsive, sexually frustrated guy? Yep, that one.

Well, forever ago I entered it into the highly competitive Writers of the Future contest. The results finally came in. I got myself an Honorable Mention. So yay! Nice little boost to my writerly confidence.

A Promise
I close my post today with a promise, well two actually. The first is that I am going to try to be around much more now. I know, you guys are all probably dancing with joy.

The second promise is that we WILL have a Photoshop Friday this week! One that will thrill and delight. I just have to think of it . . .

Kissingfest Day (or whatever it's called)

So, I guess today is a some kind of blogosphere kissing holiday or something. I've been very much enjoying reading all of posts. Will I come out of my blog darkness for kissing? Uh-yeah I will. :)

Here's a scene from my novel Searcher It' actually just an almost kiss, but those are the best kind, am I right?:


Stifling laughter, we duck back along the outer rim of the camp. After sneaking the long way around, we draw closer to my tent. I feel a pang of regret. I don’t want this moment to end.

“That’s yours over there?” Owen asks.

“Yeah. Guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’d better walk you all the way to your door,” he says, making a serious expression. “You never know what might happen to a kid like you.”

I elbow him in the side, but laugh. When we reach the door to my tent, I turn to face him.

“Thanks for protecting me.”

“My pleasure.”

It’s quiet for a moment—only the sound of crickets and Hector’s sleepy guitar. I cast my eyes around, wanting to prolong the conversation, but unsure of what say. Owen lingers, at a lack for words as well. A gust of wind sweeps past us, and I pull my jacket closer.

“You should go in,” he says. “It’s starting to get cold out here.” He reaches out and brushes his hands down the length of my arms. “Are you cold?”

I’m shivering, but not from the wind. I look up to him, trembling inwardly. He keeps his hands wrapped around my arms. This close, I can see every detail of his face, the line of his dark brow, the strong angles of his cheek bones. His large, amber eyes gaze down at me with an intense, but unreadable expression.

“Jetta . . .” He pulls me closer. It’s like a surge of hot sparks have burst in my chest and spread over my skin. Breath catches in my throat. Owen’s hands move up my arms again, and then he grips my shoulders. His face moves closer. I can feel his warm breath on my cheek. The world around us has frozen.

And suddenly he pulls back. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment.

“I—I’m sorry.” He lets out a frustrated breath. “I had a few drinks tonight, I didn’t . . . I didn’t mean to . . .”

I shake my head. “But—”

“Goodnight Jetta.” He turns abruptly on his heel and is gone in a few strides.

I stay at the door to the tent for a moment, my insides reeling with a thousand emotions. I can still feel the warmth of Owen’s hands on my skin, a burning imprint.

This is just to say . . .

1. Sorry I haven't been around much lately.

2. I don't expect it will get much better any time soon.

I could offer the list of usual suspects: holidays, planning for/about to go on vacations, general craziness of life. However, it's a little more than that. In the past few weeks, I've been undergoing a great philosophical journey (shown in picture below.)
I've still many miles of pondering to go, so I'm not quite ready to share my thoughts, but I will when they are clear in my mind. In the meantime, I have been and will be taking a small break from the blogging world. I'll still be around, but not as much. Not for a few weeks, anyway.

Oh, and as a closing note, I just want to assure you that I am quite content. Don't read any despondency in this post. On the contrary. After what feels like two years of rushing, it's very refreshing to stop and just think.

Getting Outside

We writers are a focused bunch. Focused and determined. I've had many a conversation with fellow writer friends about how consumed we can become in this whole writing thing. With blogging and working on stories and writer forums and brainstorming about new story ideas, one can easily spend as much or more time in this "world" than we do in the real one.

With the completion of Searcher, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to work on next. I think it's safe to say that I was constantly thinking about it, batting around new ideas, tinkering with old ones. However, I kept running into a brick wall. It seemed the harder I tried to dig for a plan, the more muddled I became.

Then came this last week. I left the writing world for several days to focus instead on turkey and pie and big family game nights. I didn't think much, if at all, about writing.

And you know what? Last night, out of the clear blue sky, with the whole writing world frankly miles away from my mind, an Idea struck me.

It's been a good lesson for me. See, ideas should come from life. They should be inspired by our experiences and relationships. But the problem is, sometimes we writers are so focused in our world of writerly techniques and queries and researching the market and book deals and social networking with other writers that without realizing it, we've closed ourselves off to that life wherein the true ideas come.

So to any writer out there struggling with where to go and what to do, I would say: go live your life, and sooner than you might think that inspiration will find you.

It's those Crazy Holidays

Like everyone else, I'm sure, this week is going to be a crazy busy one for me. It starts today with my Hubby and I's wedding anniversary! (7 years! Can you believe it?! And, so far, no itch in sight. ;) )

After today, it just keeps going. We've got a trip out of state. Thanksgiving. Family hoopla. Meeting awesome writer friends. Etc, etc, etc.

I suspect I won't be around this week as much as usual. But I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

And to close, in honor of my anniversary, a little Far Side for you.