Photoshop Friday

I didn't announce on this blog, but in early February, I entered Miss Midas into the Amazon Breakout Novel Contest. I figured, what the heck? I've yanked it out of the query system. This can be Midas' swan song.

Well, I made the first cut, the top 2000 out of 10,000, but then got axed as they narrowed that down to the 500. I shrugged it off, figuring that since I had to enter my YA novel in the General Literature category (there was no YA section, so I had no other choice) that I probably got reviewers who were expecting Love in the Time of Cholera, but got a light, cutesy YA story instead. But yesterday, for a lovely birthday present, I got the reviews of my excerpt back.

Let's just say, now I know why I didn't make the cut. Two "expert" Amazon reviewers (otherwise known as Amazon customers who do lots and lots of reviews) scored my excerpt and then wrote a response. One was quite enthusiastic, the other . . . I'll show you. (Bear in mind that these two were my only two judges for the second round. So, yeah, this one person pretty much ruined my chances of going on.)

I've titled this post: Oh no she didn't! A Catharsis.

From the first line, I knew I was in for a good time. And I quote, "Usually, I address a work's strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, I have nothing positive to note about this excerpt."


So, I've actually gotten one, my first Amazon 1 star review, complete with all of the snarkiness and insults we've come to know and expect. Aside from one, generic suggestion on how to improve (tighten up the grammar.) The rest of the fairly lengthy review consisted of the numerous reasons why my writing was so bad it was "an insult to teens," "ridiculous," "annoying and sloppy," or, my favorite, the review called my use of actual product names (Coke, Xerox, etc) a "horrendous faux pas."


It looks like my fears were confirmed. I think, perhaps the most telling line of the review was this, "When I was at YA age, I was reading Achebe (as were all my friends)." Kinda says it all.

An April Fool's Day LOL

Hilarious on so many levels.

The End is Near!

Well, I'm back . . . but not for long. My blog is probably going to stay in it's dull, stagnant state for the next month or so. But, there is a good reason why.

I'm almost done with my WiP!!! *Does an enthusiastic Macarena*

It's a special feeling to be near the end. Special, and terrifying. We all know how important a kick-butt ending is. It's HUGE! Arguably the most important part of the story. (Top two, at least)

So, I need some tips from all you brilliant writers out there. Any advice on how to write a slammin' ending? Or just share your opinion on what makes a good ending. I'm all ears. :)

I'm so cliche

Here you were, probably expecting one of my patented Photoshop Fridays, and what do you get instead?

One of those really short posts that says, "I'm going out of town! See you all later!" And you'll feel obligated to go into the comment section and say something like, "Have fun on your trip!! smiley face"

Here, let me try and make this less cliche. I want all of you to go into the comment section and write me a progressive story! No need to add more than a line or two, unless you want. Anything goes!

Come on in, it'll be fun! :)

The Luck O' the Irish (which, I don't have)

I've learned a little something about myself. I don't win contests. A minuscule complaint in the face of recession, world hunger, and war? Perhaps. But it still makes me glum from time to time. I'm just not a winner. (Cue sad piano music)

Don't be fooled by my last name. I don't have a drop of Irish blood in my veins. And maybe that's what's missing! No luck of the Irish for me. (Janey, you lucky woman, you. :))

At any rate, on this St. Patrick's Day, I'll be getting buzzed on Dr. Pepper. And plenty of it. But, believe me when I say, that I drink this one for you!


Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

Photoshop Friday

Getting in touch with your Inner Superhero (and Supervillain!)

We always hear that every writer is different. That every writer has strengths and weaknesses that make their experience different. I pondered on this the other day. I was analyzing my own strengths and weaknesses (well, mostly my weaknesses, but still.) In my mind, I kept seeing them as superpowers, and myself as a Writing Superhero! What kind of superhero? I'll tell you



I am Super Realistic Assessment of My Own Writing Girl! Smashing through the barrier of self doubt and the false precipice of self delusion, SRAMOW has a pretty good understanding of her own writing level. This keeps her strong when things get tough and grounded, even when she's super excited about her WiP.(This is a lame super power, you say? I agree, but it's really hard to do the hero/strengths part without sounding like you're bragging. So, lets move on.)



I am also a writing Supervillain. Yes, here she is. Adjectivica! The ruthless villain who has a burning hatred for English Grammar. Her powers of prose range from a delicate lilac hue to the deadly purple! Adjectivica also loves to slaughter innocent sentences, leaving them in fragments all over the place. Her weapons of choice are adjectives, but she has apenchant for lethal gerunds. Look at all the good, faithful defenders of Grammar that fall dead at her feet! Beware Adjectivica!



And lastly, I have a picture of She-Ra, Princess of Power. Not because I dare to compare myself to her, but, well look at her, she's awesome!



So, what do you think? What is your writing super power? Do you have a fatal flaw? What kind of hero are you? Give yourself a character and introduce yourself in the comment section! Or, better yet, if you want to photoshop a picture of your Superhero, sent it to me and I'll post it here on my blog!

Up, up, and AWAY!!!!!!!

SUPER UPDATES:
Here are a few fearless heroes who have joined my super awesome writing squad!

(In her own words) Candice is: Lady Hindenburg. "Because I think big, make great plans, takeoff really well, cruise along at high altitude, then I get to the end, loose steam and crash and burn in a blaze of glory. In other words, I'm great at beginning, not so much at endings. **Notice the look of fearless determination on my face as I prepare to meet impending doom."

Blogs. (Blogs!) What are they good for?

Absolutely nothing.

kidding, kidding. Actually, I've been pondering the subject of blogs lately. Particularly my blog. And, I've started to wonder what my blog is good for. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've made lots of WONDERFUL writer friends. And, I truly love you all like sisters (and brothers, for the occasional male reader.)

All in all though, I feel like I've reached a rocky place with my blog. I very rarely have the motivation to post. (Except for Photoshop Fridays.) And I feel like I have nothing all that original to add to the vast, vast number of writer blogs out there. So, I've really started to push the question to myself, "What is the point?

What do you think? Are writer blogs important to an unpublished, unagented writer? Or do they become important only when you actually have a book deal in your hot little hands?

(Note: I'm not fishing for compliments on my blog. I actually really want to know what you think about writer blogs in general.)

Anyway . . . In other news, look for a Photoshop Friday tomorrow featuring my new webcam. (Ooo, aaah) Here's a teaser! (We were having a lot of fun. Can you tell?)